FLOWING RANDOM THOUGHTS...

Am i being mean if a friend asked me, "Do you still love me?" The mere fact that it was an easy question, yet I didn't actually gave the answer. I just asked "What kind of question is that?" A follow up question, "Do you love her more than me now?" At the back of my mind, I could absolutely give her an honest answer with YES. But, i refused to because I know how it feels. You know, things changed. Far different from how we talk before. It's like there's a big barrier between us. Attachment leading to detachment. Quite hard to be true but, I'm kind of dealing with it now...

The two of them are different. They both have their own unique personalities. They are both close to my heart. They have their own way on how to make me feel "Hey I'm your friend!" But, if I am going to weigh things now, I can say that I'm now closer with the new found friend. I really don't know what happened. Maybe there are just things which remain unexplainable. Let it just remain as it is.

I just realized one thing, that TIME FRAME when it comes to friendship doesn't really have to do with "I should be closer with you coz' we've been friends for such a long time and vice versa." It just sucks. And I know it's unfair. But, the moment you feel like things aren't the same as the way they used to be, I think it means something...

I don't know if it is just me, or do I have a social problem... I don't know if I should feel sorry for making her feel like sometimes I don't care. I'm kinda figuring out the reason why ended up feeling like this. And I found out that CONSTANT COMMUNICATION really matters when it comes to friendship. The OPENNESS, the NATURAL FLOW OF CONVERSATION. Some may say, there are those friendship which succeeded even when they talk once in a blue moon. Well, we have different concepts of friendship and I respect what others think about it. Before, I can tell all things like "I don't need to hide anything from you coz' we're so close friends." But now, it's like there's something which stops me on sharing things. It's sad, but it's really happening now. I tried bringing back the connection but I can't hardly feel it now.

I thought of not telling her what I really feel right now coz I know she can feel it. She noticed it already. I just don't think it would be a better idea to admit to her frankly coz I know it will just caused too much pain. Afterall, she's still my friend. And that I still care. It's just that, we just have to deal with the concept of THE ONLY CONSTANT THING IN THE WORLD IS CHANGE...